Walking my Why – Reframing Vulnerability and Unleashing People Power

Brené Brown taught me and millions of people that vulnerability is uncertainty risk and emotional exposure. How being vulnerable, awkward, brave and kind empowers us to become daring leaders for change. Controversially, if you’ve been raised in the Western world at some point in the last 100 years, being vulnerable is deeply associated with feeling and performing ‘weak’. 

We all feel…

Emotions of failure – when you are flicking through the trail of beautiful wholesome Facebook family shots off seemingly everyone you have ever known or met, whilst you are hiding form you own children in the toilet.

Emotions of shame – when your boss publicly dismisses your suggestion to consider stakeholders’ feelings about a project you are working on, making you feel so incredibly small and soft. 

Emotions of despair – when you think back to all those times when you stood in front of someone who refused or chose to not see you, because you did not fit into their concept of what a person worth seeing looks, sounds or acts like. 

So how can these feelings of vulnerability be reframed as power? And why would a social work leader bother thinking about it? 

Well… have you ever heard the term ‘vulnerable people’? ‘Vulnerable children and families’? ‘Vulnerable adults’?

In Brene’s logic, these cohorts must be oozing power. People who have the courage to expose their humility to strangers, aka social workers, and who share some of their most deepest vulnerabilities asking for support when it really matters. 

Now, tell me social workers in the UK! Why does that not ring right? As a social worker of 12 years, and a human being with adverse childhood experiences, seeing and being seen as vulnerable does not exactly trigger notions of power or leadership. 

In fact, in my experience, vulnerable children and families are perceived as anything but powerful. Socially they are segregated by architecture, education systems and creative opportunities; Economically they are a high cost enigma impossible to resolve; And politically they are an emotive indicator for capitalist thinking of success by either hiding or exacerbating individual stories. 

Beautifully, Martin Luther King explained power as:

The ability to achieve purpose. It is the strength required to bring about social, political and economic change. 

Martin Luther King

So what does that mean for vulnerable children and families who access social welfare services?

They have bucket loads of vulnerability and the courage to share their stories with social workers. Could the missing link in the algorithm for power be purpose?

Let’s play it out.

What if vulnerable children and families on the sink estate near you were clear about their purpose? Children and families with earth shattering humility and strong values, walking their why.

Well… revolution and revolt come to mind. I can almost see them marching, taking back Maggie Thatcher’s milk bottles, breaking down your picked fences and building back better with Queen Elisabeth’s crown jewellery!!!

But Dr King was not finished. He continues to teach: Power without love is reckless and abusive and love without power is sentimental and anaemic.

In social work practice love, soul and heartfulness are feminine concepts, kept far apart from power and leadership that is considered directive and effective. Yet, 21st century powerful leaders who are remembered for creating wellbeing, making whole and leading lasting change, are all talking openly about such relational values. Conversations with Barak Obama, Angela Merkel, Jacinda Ardern and David Attenborough are loaded with language that is kind, caring and soft.

Let’s close the loop:

VULNERABILITY takes courage and creates power.
Power is the ability to achieve purpose.
Purpose evokes the strengths to walk your why, yet
Power without love is reckless.

What that means for me, a social work leader?